IN THE MIDDLE AGES, CRACKED GENIUS_LEVEL IQ OTTERMODE BENEDICTINE MONKS PERFORMED DAILY RITUALS, PRAYER AND DUTIES AT MONASTERIES ACROSS EUROPE. THEY WERE UNDERSTOOD TO BE AMASSING SPIRITUAL ENERGY AND BECAUSE OF THEIR EPIC CRACKED AUTISM THEY IMBUED THE CHURCH WITH DIVINE HYPERPOWERED LASERBEAMS THEY USED TO DOMINATE THE CRUSADES AND MOUNT THE WORLD, ESTABLISHING A WESTERN EMPIRE WHICH STOOD FOR A MILLENNIUM BEFORE CRUMBLING. YOU MUST PERFORM RITUALS, PRAYER, AND DUTIES EVERY DAY, AND BUILD A SPIRITUAL SUPERLASER AT YOUR HOUSE ★ WORK OUT BY BASHING A TYRE WITH A BASEBALL BAT ★ WHEN IT RAINS SPRINT OUTSIDE AND SCREAM “DUTY!!! VIRTUE!!! STRENGTH!!!” TO THE VAULT OF HEAVEN ★ LEARN TO PROGRAM AND WRITE SCRIPTS THAT SEND AUTOGENERATED CRYPTIC GLYPHS AND TREASURE MAPS TO GOVERNMENT EMAILS ★ TRAIN VERTICAL JUMPS UNTIL YOU CAN JUMP THE HEIGHT OF YOUR OWN HEAD. TRAIN ROPE CLIMBS. TRAIN SPRINTING SPEED AND HAYMAKER STRENGTH. YOU MUST BECOME A DEMON SPIRIT OF SPEED AND POWER. TRAIN WITH HEAVY LOGS ★ LET THE BEES AND CRICKETS INTO YOUR APARTMENT ★ TREAT EVERY ACTION YOU TAKE AS A PRAYER ★ STRAIGHTEN YOUR SPINE AT ALL COSTS ★ BUY A BUNCH OF DRYWALL, PUT A HELMET ON. RUN THROUGH IT ★ WEAR SURGICAL EARPLUGS AND CONSTRUCTION EARMUFFS AT THE GYM. WEAR INDUSTRIAL HEARING PROTECTION AND BLACKED OUT WRAPAROUNDS AT THE GYM. AND ONLY DO 1REP MAX DEADLIFTS ★ GET PYTHON TATTOOS ★ EVERYTHING YOU DO MUST BE A PRAYER, BORN FROM A SPIRIT OF INDOMITABLE WILL, AND AIMED AT PURE LOVE ★ MOVE IN WITH YOUR BOYS AND WRESTLE GRECO-ROMAN STYLE WHILE WEARING SUITS OF ARMOR ★ GO TO BED AT 8PM AND SLEEP 9 HOURS A NIGHT ★ LEARN LATIN, LEARN ISLAMIC LEGAL SCHOLARSHIP, LEARN ABOUT MICROARCHITECTURE FABRICATION, MEMORIZE THE OLD TESTAMENT, OIL YOURSELF UP WITH COCONUT OIL AND DO BACKFLIPS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM ★ UNINSTALL ALL COMPUTER GAMES, THROW OUT ALL YOUR CONSOLES. THEY ARE TOOLS OF THE DEVIL. YOU DO NOT NEED A TELEVISION. GET A 2002 CRT AND PLAY FIST OF THE NORTH STAR, RALLY CAR CRASH COMPILATIONS, CHINESE SOAP OPERAS ON REPEAT ★ SELF-HOST A MEDIA SERVER. SHUT DOWN YOUR NEIGHBOR’S WI-FI. TAPE YOUR MOUTH UP WHEN YOU SLEEP ★ GET A LOUD EXHAUST ON YOUR CAR, CRASH IT INTO A BRICK WALL ★ EAT ONLY RED MEAT, OYSTERS, GARLIC, YOGHURT AND BERRIES ★
IN THE MIDDLE AGES, CRACKED GENIUS_LEVEL IQ OTTERMODE BENEDICTINE MONKS PERFORMED DAILY RITUALS, PRAYER AND DUTIES AT MONASTERIES ACROSS EUROPE. THEY WERE UNDERSTOOD TO BE AMASSING SPIRITUAL ENERGY AND BECAUSE OF THEIR EPIC CRACKED AUTISM THEY IMBUED THE CHURCH WITH DIVINE HYPERPOWERED LASERBEAMS THEY USED TO DOMINATE THE CRUSADES AND MOUNT THE WORLD, ESTABLISHING A WESTERN EMPIRE WHICH STOOD FOR A MILLENNIUM BEFORE CRUMBLING. YOU MUST PERFORM RITUALS, PRAYER, AND DUTIES EVERY DAY, AND BUILD A SPIRITUAL SUPERLASER AT YOUR HOUSE ★ WORK OUT BY BASHING A TYRE WITH A BASEBALL BAT ★ WHEN IT RAINS SPRINT OUTSIDE AND SCREAM “DUTY!!! VIRTUE!!! STRENGTH!!!” TO THE VAULT OF HEAVEN ★ LEARN TO PROGRAM AND WRITE SCRIPTS THAT SEND AUTOGENERATED CRYPTIC GLYPHS AND TREASURE MAPS TO GOVERNMENT EMAILS ★ TRAIN VERTICAL JUMPS UNTIL YOU CAN JUMP THE HEIGHT OF YOUR OWN HEAD. TRAIN ROPE CLIMBS. TRAIN SPRINTING SPEED AND HAYMAKER STRENGTH. YOU MUST BECOME A DEMON SPIRIT OF SPEED AND POWER. TRAIN WITH HEAVY LOGS ★ LET THE BEES AND CRICKETS INTO YOUR APARTMENT ★ TREAT EVERY ACTION YOU TAKE AS A PRAYER ★ STRAIGHTEN YOUR SPINE AT ALL COSTS ★ BUY A BUNCH OF DRYWALL, PUT A HELMET ON. RUN THROUGH IT ★ WEAR SURGICAL EARPLUGS AND CONSTRUCTION EARMUFFS AT THE GYM. WEAR INDUSTRIAL HEARING PROTECTION AND BLACKED OUT WRAPAROUNDS AT THE GYM. AND ONLY DO 1REP MAX DEADLIFTS ★ GET PYTHON TATTOOS ★ EVERYTHING YOU DO MUST BE A PRAYER, BORN FROM A SPIRIT OF INDOMITABLE WILL, AND AIMED AT PURE LOVE ★ MOVE IN WITH YOUR BOYS AND WRESTLE GRECO-ROMAN STYLE WHILE WEARING SUITS OF ARMOR ★ GO TO BED AT 8PM AND SLEEP 9 HOURS A NIGHT ★ LEARN LATIN, LEARN ISLAMIC LEGAL SCHOLARSHIP, LEARN ABOUT MICROARCHITECTURE FABRICATION, MEMORIZE THE OLD TESTAMENT, OIL YOURSELF UP WITH COCONUT OIL AND DO BACKFLIPS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM ★ UNINSTALL ALL COMPUTER GAMES, THROW OUT ALL YOUR CONSOLES. THEY ARE TOOLS OF THE DEVIL. YOU DO NOT NEED A TELEVISION. GET A 2002 CRT AND PLAY FIST OF THE NORTH STAR, RALLY CAR CRASH COMPILATIONS, CHINESE SOAP OPERAS ON REPEAT ★ SELF-HOST A MEDIA SERVER. SHUT DOWN YOUR NEIGHBOR’S WI-FI. TAPE YOUR MOUTH UP WHEN YOU SLEEP ★ GET A LOUD EXHAUST ON YOUR CAR, CRASH IT INTO A BRICK WALL ★ EAT ONLY RED MEAT, OYSTERS, GARLIC, YOGHURT AND BERRIES ★
